


Whiter than Death

by Mahena



Series: Pulled Too Thin [1]
Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Alex is mentioned a lot, But not on purpose, Fainting, Hospitals, M/M, Mentions of other dads, Self-Harm, dadsona can't care for himself, self neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2018-12-09 03:39:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11660859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mahena/pseuds/Mahena
Summary: Ash Harper (Dadsona) has been pushing himself thin to pay the bills and passes out.  Lucien finds him when he goes to find a book for his dad.  Now Damien has to support his lover while he recovers.





	1. Chapter 1

Time had flown by quickly since Amanda and I moved into the house in the cul de sac. We had made this house a home in the few months we lived in it together. Amanda quickly made friends with most of the neighborhood kids. She's a social butterfly that she is. It took me a longer to become friends with some of the dads, well except Craig. Boy has that one changed since we graduated college. We reconnected fairly easily. Of all the dads I met at the barbeque, the one I will forever cherish meeting is Damien Bloodmarch.

  
When I first met him, I do admit I was a little apprehensive. I didn't want to go to the barbeque, meeting new people makes me so anxious. Amanda's been trying for years to get me to be more social, with minimal luck. She definitely took after Alex. Anyways, so the two of us go to the barbeque. I was instantly drawn to him. The way his long, black hair hung over his back and shoulders, the makeup that enhanced the beauty that is his face, and the clothes. Don't get me started on the clothes. Not once in my life have I ever seen a man so unique and exotic as him. He's so much different than Alex was, which is good. I don't think I can handle loving someone like him without comparing them. I knew nothing about Damien, nothing at all.

  
It was obviously Amanda who convinced me to get Dadbook. Still had to get her to help me set it up. I hate social media, it's not like the entire world needs to know what I'm doing. Being social in general just sucks. Anyways, I added the other dads in the cul de sac, but the first one I messaged was Damien. I was a little surprised that he messaged me back. I didn't think he would be overly interested in talking to a guy like me. I mean, he's so interesting and I'm well, not. When he asked me to come over to his house, I was a little shocked. This man is full of surprises.

  
So the weeks went by and Damien and I went on a few dates. The time we spent together was amazing. I never once felt like I had to be something I wasn't. I was a little scared at first. I hadn't dated anyone since I lost Alex. I wasn't sure if I was ready, but it was so nice to be with someone again. I actually had a dream after our third date. I was back in the old house, and in walked Alex in all his glory. We embraced, it felt like I had remembered. He even smelt the same. Alex looked at me and said he was glad I found someone. That it was about time. It was a damn good dream, though I was sad to have to wake up.

He was the first one I invited to Amanda's surprise grad party. She got accepted into the art school of her dreams. Nothing was gonna stop her. Well, Damien and I have been doing great. He's such a sweetheart, my Victorian Prince. We have been spending a little less time together with me working more, but I make sure to give him the attention he deserves. He's very understanding.

  
Time seems to fly so quickly. Amanda's been attending college for five months, leaving the house quiet. It hasn't been easy, I'm struggling to pay the bills. I know Amanda got a scholarship, but it doesn't cover everything. I can barely afford to make minimum payments on everything. Last month I nearly got my phone disconnected. The few extra shifts I picked up just aren't cutting it. So I went and I got a second job. By day I'm a clerk at the local bookstore, by nights I'm a bartender at a popular bar. I don't want to burden my Manda Panda with all this, and I sure as hell can't have Damien know. I love the man and all, but I have to be able to support myself. It's the sad reality of adulthood and parenthood. My time with him has drastically decreased with the second job. Sure I sacrifice a bit of sleep to spend time with him, but it still weighs on me. I don't want Damien to think that I don't love him.

  
I know I've pulled myself thin. Much too thin, yet I don't overly have a choice. Bills do not pay themselves, the shopping doesn't do itself. I've been exhausted constantly. I don't have much time to do laundry, I made sure my uniforms were clean. I felt bad for neglecting Damien so much lately. I have a day off coming, so I'll rest as much as I can. I promised to take Damien out on a date of his choosing that day, and I'll be damned if I break that promise.

  
So, I just got home from my day job. I plan to munch on some of the leftover pizza Damien and I got from the day then sleep before heading to the bar. I dropped my stuff on the floor and shuffle to the kitchen. Everything was so bright it made my head hurt. As I stepped into the kitchen, my vision begins to darken around the edges of my vision. It'd been happening on and off for a month now, so I'm not overly concerned. All of a sudden, my knees buckled and darkness enveloped me.

  
_________________________________________________________

Lucien sighs as he walked down to the Harper house. His dad had asked him to see if one of his books was over there. Why Damien didn't go himself is beyond him, but whatever. Ash seemed sort of cool any ways. Didn't judge or anything. Didn't force shit upon him or make him respect him or anything. He did back up his dad and support him which is kinda nice.

  
As much as he didn't seem to care, he was happy to see his dad happy. After his mom left them, Damien didn't really get back in the dating game. It was the two of them for a long time. Lucian thought it was a little weird having the other man around but it wasn't his problem.

  
When the silver haired teen got to Ash's house, he knocked. When he didn't get an answer, he just walked right in.

"Yo Ash. Dad wants to know if you got a book of his. Don't know why he didn't just come over himself. Ash?" the teen called out. All he met was silence. He knew the other man was home, the car sitting parked in the driveway. Lucien stepped further inside. He checked the bedrooms, not finding him. He headed to the kitchen when he saw a spot peeking past the cupboard. The spot was thick looking and red. When he got closer to it, he paled. Freaking out a little, he got his phone and called his dad.

"Dad, it's Ash. I think he's dead."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bloodmarches get news about Ash and Damien ponders on some knowledge he didn't know about before.

Damien paced around the hospital waiting area. There hadn't been much else to do and he just couldn't keep still. When he got the call from Lucien, he froze. When the words sunk in, he felt his phone slip from his hand. He ran out of the house as fast as he could to his lover's house. He burst in and found his son on the couch, looking at the pictures on the shelf. Lucien was paler than usual, and he could see the very slight trembles. When he looked over at his dad, he pointed in the direction of the kitchen. Damien went over and found his boyfriend on the floor with blood around his head. The goth fell to his knees and took a proper look at Ash.

Ash, to be put bluntly, looked terrible. His skin was so pale it looked almost translucent. Under his eyes, the bags were so dark it put his house to shame. Damien lifted up Ash's eyelid and found his eye to be glazed over. He lowered the eyelid back into proper place. Damien then put a hand on Ash's head and looked at his hair. It was hard to tell where his red hair ended and where the blood began. The smell of blood in the air, this close, was overwhelming. Looking lower, Damien made a startling discovery; Ash was severely malnourished. Even with the shirt on, he could still see ribs. His hips were no better. He could see the sharp angle of his hips through his pants. It made Damien whimper in distress at how poorly his lover cared for himself, that he let himself get this bad. He looked back up to his chest and stared. His rib cage rose and fell a little. Damien instantly felt for a pulse. It was rapid and weak but it was still a pulse. He looked over at Lucien.

"Lucien! Call 9-1-1 immediately. Ash is still alive." he said. Lucien went outside and made the call. 

While waiting, Damien looked around the area. The place was a mess. Clothes were all over the living room, mostly on the recliner and in a basket by the couch. He had no idea what was clean and what was dirty. In the kitchen, there was a particular odor. Like garbage that had been sitting too long, yet oddly nothing rotting. Peeking over, Damien saw the garbage was mostly paper plates and plastic cutlery. From the floor, he could see dirty glassware in the sink. The goth man stood up to get a drink. When he opened the fridge he found it to be empty. No water, no milk, no juice. No eggs, no fruit, or anything. Just a loaf of bread and a small bowl of butter. He went through the cupboards and found all it bare. Not even a box of cereal. Damien got extremely concerned by the lack of food and drink.

Soon enough the ambulance arrived and Ash was taken to the Maple Bay General Hospital. Damien and Lucien quickly got into Ash's car and followed the ambulance. By the time they found a place to park, Ash had been rushed inside.

All this was what led to Damien pacing around the ER waiting room Lucien sat in a chair on his phone. Damien was too nervous and anxious to sit still. Doctors had been working on Ash for over two hours and they heard nothing. Early on in the waiting, Damien made a call he didn't want to make; he called Amanda. Safe to say she was shocked and he spent several minutes calming her down. She told him she would pack a bag then make the long drive home. They agreed to meet at the house before hanging up. The call was made an hour ago. Eventually, a doctor came into the room.

 

"Ash Harper?" the Bloodmarch men stood up.

"I'm his lover, Damien Bloodmarch. My son Lucien." The doctor looked at them.

"Is there a next of kin?" she asked.

"The only family he has is his daughter who is on her way here from college. It's fourteen hours away. Can you please just tell us how my lover fares?" The doctor thought for a moment before answering.

"It's pretty severe. Mr. Harper is dehydrated anemic, severely malnourished and underweight. There are signs his organs have started to fail. He has a high fever of 105. To be honest, I'm surprised he's still alive. Right now we have him on fluids to hydrate him and to help lower the fever. Normally we would place the patient in a cool bath, but it would be too much a shock to his system. It would cause his body to shut down from shock and he would die. We have cooling packs placed on areas of his body to help and we're keeping a very close eye on him. We gave him some medication to combat the fever and possible infection. There's a decent sized laceration to his head, from what we can assume, hitting his head. We also are focussed on getting his organs functioning properly again. The biggest issue is the fever. In his delicate state, I can't just give him the medications he needs at once. Once the fever is down, and we keep it down, we can really start treating him. Do either of you know what could have possibly happened?" Damien shook his head.

 

"None. Will he be alright?" the black haired man inquired.

"If we can get the fever under control and get the organs functioning properly, he'll make a recovery. There is a chance he may not one hundred percent recover, some organ may be weakened or there may be brain damage if the fever stays too high for too long. At this very moment, his prognosis is guarded at best. All we can do is treat one thing at a time and hope we aren't too late." she replied. Damien seemed to pale a little more.

 

"Can we see him?" he asked. The doctor shook her head.

"Not for a while, I'm afraid. Mr. Harper is in a very fragile state. He is susceptible to bacteria and infections, those could kill him. His body is struggling to combat the fever and to heal. Now, he is being transferred right now to the Intensive Care Unit. I'm not sure who is his doctor, but they'll tell you the same thing. We simply cannot risk him getting any sicker. If the fever goes down, and organ function improves the doctors will see to visitors. But right now he's not allowed to see anyone. I'm sorry." The doctor said a few more things before she walked away. 

 

Lucien noticed his father got paler and his breathing picked up. He lead the taller man out to the hospital gardens, gently forcing him to sit down on the bench. Damien played with his hands a little, something he did when he was nervous. He let his father breath in the aroma of the few flowers, knowing the smell of the flowers calms him. When he was calmer, Lucien saw the look. The look Damien only got when he was really concerned. Normally that look was directed at him. It was kind of weird that it wasn't. The teen would be surprised if he wasn't stressed out. He took the goth's face in his hands and made him look at him.

 

"Look, dad, ya it doesn't look good, but he's alive. Sure he's sicker than heck, but he's a fighter. He wouldn't leave you or Amanda. Ash loves you too much to die. Now you need to be strong. For yourself and for Ash." For once Lucien said gently. He took his hands off his dad's face and hugged him. Damien slowly hugged his son back.

 

"Thank you Lucien."

"Welcome. Let's go home. There no point in staying here. The nurse said they would call us if anything changes and when Ash is able to have visitors." Damien nodded. The two made their way back to Ash's car then back to the quiet cul-de-sac. Well, it wouldn't be quiet anymore. Damien pulled up into Ash's driveway. The two got out, Lucien headed home while Damien went into the Harper home. Shutting the door, he looked around.

Unable to help himself, Damien took off his cloak and began cleaning. He got all of Ash's clothes, both clean and dirty, and got them in the washer. While the clothes were in the wash, he swept and mopped most of the floors. The dishes in the sink were washed, garbage taken out, clutter picked up and put out of the way. After Damien got clothes in the dryer, he went out and did some grocery shopping. Amanda would need something to sustain herself while she was home. Though she was more than welcome to occupy a spare room at the Bloodmarch house. He put what he got away when he got back to the house. He was putting away Ash's dry and folded clothes when he found the piles in his room. Taking a closer look, Damien found them to be bills. Looking at the newest of each, he saw how much in debt his lover was. He had no idea how much Ash was struggling.

"Why didn't he tell me?" Damien whispered.

The hours flew by quickly. At one point, Damien fell asleep in Ash's bed, he got so tired and it was late. When he woke, he ate some breakfast and did a little more cleaning. Amanda would be home soon. He had been dusting a shelf in the living room when a couple pictures caught his attention. It was a man holding a baby. The man was wearing the jacket Amanda wears all the time. The goth knew it was special because of the frame it was in. It looked to be one of the pricier frames. Looking over at the second one, it made him stare in mild shock. The same man as before was standing in front of a willow tree. He was wearing a black tux with a green shirt underneath and a blue tie. There was a white rose bud attached to the tux as well. Beside him was Ash. He was also wearing a black tux as well. The difference was his shirt was blue and his tie was green. He also had a white rose bud on his tux. What made Damien nervous was what the two were doing. They were kissing. Not on the cheek, but on the lips. Their hands were connected. At the bottom of the photo was a date and four words.

 

Mr. and Mr. Harper.

"I love that one." A voice said behind him. Damien looked over and saw Amanda entering the house with her bags.

"If I may be so bold to ask but, Ash was married?" Amanda set her bags down and shut the door. She went and sat beside Damien on the couch. He had no idea when he sat down in the first place. Amanda leaned into him as she looked at the wedding photo.

" That's when dad and pops got married. Dad always told me it was the happiest day of his life. Well after I was born." she said quietly. Damien looked at her.

Amanda looked tired. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. It was to be expected. College wasn't easy, school and the pressure to do well always on one's mind. Then the stress of knowing her only family was in the hospital and driving for hours to get home. Anyone would be tired and stressed. The stress made her pale.

"What happened? He's never mentioned this other man."

"Pops got real sick when I was a kid. Dad said Pops got heart failure and was put on a list for a heart transplant. Doctors did everything they could to give him more time until a donor could be found, but it wasn't enough. He died before a match could be found. His heart just gave out. His name was Alex, and he was only 29. I was really little. Like four. I don't really remember Pops, but I remember dad being real sad. I was always told that Dad and Pops were soulmates by others. They were that in love. Someone once told me that Dad and Pops reminded them of love birds. I remember looking it up and I got really scared when I read when one love bird dies, the other will die soon after of broken heart. I was scared I was gonna lose Dad. After Pops died, Dad was sad for a long time. He was always crying, and he couldn't look at any of Pop's stuff or even pictures of him. He still gets sad when he looks at pictures of him." Damien looked down. How could he compete with a man that held that much power over his lover's heart even though he was deceased? Amanda placed a hand on Damien's. He looked at her.

 

"Since you and dad started dating, he's been happy again. Truly happy. You make him happy and I can't thank you enough for it. I would like to think that Pops would approve of you. He'd be looking down from the stars and smiling. I never thought that Dad would never move on. I was scared of the future and going to college. I didn't want to leave him alone. But I know he's safe with you by his side. He'll never forget Pops, but can move on and continue to be happy with you Damien." Damien stared at her. He cleared his throat and wiped the tears from his eyes.

 

"I am sorry to hear that about Alex. He was too young to be taken from this world. I hope Ash does not think I am taking Alex's place." the man said.

"The way I see it, Dad's life with Pops, that chapter is closed. There will always be a spot in Dad's heart for Pops. But it won't stop Dad from moving on. A new chapter in Dad's life is being written with you." Amanda replied.

 

"I do not want for Ash to forget Alex. That would be rude and selfish of me. It would be like Ash telling me to forget the person I use to be and the man I was with for as long as I was with him. I just want Ash to be happy. And healthy. I do hope that he can make a speedy recovery from all this. I had no idea what he was going through Amanda. Nor did I know how he struggled. I just wish he had told me. I could have helped him. Maybe things wouldn't have gotten this bad if I had paid more attention." he said guiltily.

"Now Damien, none of this is your fault. Dad should have known better. You know as well as I do, he would never ask for help. But with you, Lucien, me and all his friends by his side, he'll be just fine. Now you tell me what the hell happened to my Dad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be warned, I know nothing of medical and stuff like that. I do research and bullshit my way through it. Don't take any of my medical stuff seriously.


	3. Chapter 3

As best as he could, Damien told Amanda what had happened. He told her how Lucien found him, him arriving, and what the doctor said. He decided to leave out the bills he had found, he would tell her after she had some time to rest. He didn't wish for Amanda to be alone in the house, so before she went down the hall he stopped her. Damien easily managed to convince her to stay with him. 'A lady should never be alone in times of need' he told her. Amanda smiled tiredly at that. The two grabbed her bags then locked up the house. Damien escorted Amanda to the Bloodmarch home.

When they got inside, Damien called for Lucien. When the young man left his room and stood at the top of the stairs, he listened as his father requested him to get the guest room ready. He looked at Amanda then nodded. Damien set her bags by the stairs then led her to the living room. He offered the young lady some food and beverages. Upon her agreement, he went off to make her something to eat. He brought her a simple grilled ham and cheese sandwich and a glass of orange juice. Amanda thanked him, though she was surprised to see the ham. She ate her food while Damien took the bags up. When he got into the room, Lucien was just finishing up.

 

"How is she?" the silver-haired teen asked.

 

"Tired. She most likely drove straight here, making few stops. She's eating now then I will have to convince her to rest. Lucien, what do we tell the others? There is no way they did not fail to hear the sirens." Damien said.

"I don't know dad. That sounds like something you should talk to Amanda about." The teen answered. Damien nodded. The two left the room. Lucien went to his own room while Damien went downstairs. He went back to the sitting room, ready to convince Amanda to rest. When he went in, he saw he didn't have to. Amanda was asleep on the couch, what was left of the sandwich on the floor. He smiled gently. He picked her up and carried her up to the room. Once she was on the bed, he carefully removed her socks, shoes, and jacket. He laid the blanket on her then left the room.

 

It was several hours later that a knock on the door rang out. Lucien answered the door, then called out for his dad. Damien came over. At the door was Mat and Craig, River not in the harness like she normally was. 

"I assume you would like to know about Ash?" The two nodded.

"I do not know how much Amanda would like people to know. I will say that he is very ill, and is in intensive care. The doctor says he is not allowed to have visitors until he is in more stable condition." Damien informed the two.

"Will he be okay?" Mat asked.

"It hard to say. If he makes it through the first couple days, the doctors think he should make it." The two other men nodded. They turned and left. Damien went back inside. He went up to his bedroom and thought about everything he had found.

It wasn't until the doctor had called them a couple days later, that Damien finally got the courage to tell Amanda about the bills. When the phone rang, Damien answered. After roughly ten minutes, the gothic man hangs up. He went up to Amanda's room, knocking on the door before entering. He found her sitting in the chair doing some schoolwork. She looked up at him.

"The hospital just called. Ash is doing better. They have him stable and he's staying that way. They're comfortable with his progress to allow him to have visitors." he told her.

"That's good. When can we go?" the young woman asked.

"Soon, but there is something I've been meaning to tell you. I should have told you sooner. I found some papers in his room. Amanda, I believe your father worked himself to this point. I don't think he has any money. What money he makes, he puts it towards his debts." Amanda looked shocked. She didn't want to believe him.

"Are you serious? It can't be true. Dad would have said something. He never hides anything from me. If we were having problems with money, why would he let me go to a school so far away and that costs so much money?" Amanda blabbered. 

" I believe you know the answer to that. He wants you to be happy. Getting accepted into that school made you happy and it was the best for you. He would do anything to see you happy, even if it meant working himself to death." Damien sat beside her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"A father will do anything to make his children happy. We're sure of why Ash did what he did, now we just have to help him." Amanda nodded. She looked up at Damien.

"Can we go see him now?" Damien nodded. The two got up and headed to the hospital. The ride was silent, Damien not knowing what to say and Amanda processing the newly learned information. They arrive at the hospital and head inside. They asked for Ash's room, then went on their way. They found Ash's room and went in. Amanda immediately sat in a chair and held her father's hand. She began talking to him quietly. Damien left the room to give them some privacy. He went and found a nurse. He asked her about his lover's condition. The nurse looked for Ash's file then paged his doctor. After several minutes, the woman showed up.

 

"Mr. Bloodmarch. I assume you would like a full update on your lover."

"Indeed. Ash's daughter is with him now. I am positive she would like to know." The doctor nodded and the two made their way into the room. Amanda looked back at them. 

"Amanda, this is Doctor Grace Pierce. She's the one taking care of Ash." Amanda got up and looked at her.

"Will my dad be okay?" The younger woman asked.

"Mr. Harper will be fine given time. We managed to stabilize him, and he stayed in the ICU for roughly a day and a half. We managed to get his fever down, at the last check which was thirty-five minutes ago, it's down to 103. Its still going down slowly. We've seen an improvement in his organs, but it's still uncertain. He may or may not take a sudden turn for the worst, but we're keeping a close eye on him. But, if he keeps improving, I am pleased to say I believe he'll make a full recovery. There will be a long road to recovery." Amanda looked confused.

 

"What will need to be done when he leaves?" She asked.

"There is his weight. He's severely malnourished. A man of his age and weight should be roughly one hundred forty pounds. Mr. Harper is only one hundred sixteen pounds. As a result, he has severe anemia. It'll take time for him to regain the weight he has lost and to be strong enough. What has us baffled is how he got like this. There are no indicators."

 

"We may have found the cause. For months, he's been working two jobs. Dad hasn't been taking care of himself. He's all but worked himself to death. How long do you think it'll take for him to recover?" Amanda said seriously.

"What does he do?" The doctor asked.

"From what we gathered, he's a clerk by day, gets a couple hours to himself, then he's a bartender. I was told by his boss, his shifts typically were til at least three in the morning. His job as a clerk would start at nine. Both his bosses have been told of his hospitalization and wouldn't be able to return for an unknown time." Damien said, directing the last sentence to Amanda.

 

"Until I give the clear, he won't be working. He needs time to recover and if he works, I guarantee he will work himself to death. If we can get him back to a healthy weight, organs stable and in a better mental state we can get him back." The doctor said. The three of them discussed treatment plans for several more minutes before the doctor left to check on her other patients. The two look back and saw Ash with his eyes open. He wasn't looking at them, just straight ahead. He blinked when he suddenly had a face full of brown hair. He tiredly patted his daughter's back. 

 

"You scared the hell out of us dad," Amanda whispered. Ash hummed weakly. He looked over when he felt a hand in his hair. Damien moved to the other side of the bed.

 

"Do you know where you are?" he asked. Ash looked around the room.

"Hospital. Why?" he replied. Ash's voice sounded rough and scratchy from lack of use.

"Lucien found you unconscious in your home. He thought you were deceased. He called me, I have not heard him sound so scared. I came over and the moment I found a pulse, I got Lucien to call emergency services. They arrived promptly and you were brought here. The doctor said you were dehydrated, anemic, malnourished. You had a terrible fever and your organs were shutting down. Darling how on earth could you let it get this bad? Why didn't you talk to me? Do you understand that you could have died?" Damien explained. Ash looked back and forth between the two.

"Damien called me while he was waiting to hear from the doctor. I didn't get home until the next day. I got my stuff in order, packed a couple bags and drove all night to get here. Dad, you mean the world to me. To us. What you did... You could have died, dad. How could you have been so stupid? You nearly worked yourself to death. I know of your jobs; both clerk and bartender. Damien told me of the lack of food in the house. Dad, we know about the debt. If you don't take a break you'll die, dad. You'll be dead like Pops and I'll be all alone." Amanda ranted. Ash paled even more and looked down at the sheets. He felt his daughter's hands on his jaw, then forced his head up.

 

"Dad my education is not worth your health. I know you want the best for me, but I need you alive. If I have to drop out just make sure you stay alive, I will do so." Ash's face hardened.

"Amanda Ann Harper, don't you dare drop out. You worked hard to get into Horne. I won't allow you to throw all your work away. If you drop out now, you may never get back in. Don't worry about the money, I'll be fine."

"Dad, you mean more to me than some school. If it came down to it, I bet I could get a leave of absence. I can't just let you suffer." She looks at Damien. "We can't let you suffer."

"Your daughter is correct love. You mean the world to us. It hurts us greatly to see you like this. We love you and we just want you to be well." 

"Pops wouldn't want you to be like this."

Ash looked down at the bed. He let their words sink in for a minute. 

"Dad, when we left the old place, could we afford it?" Amanda asked. Ash didn't look up.

"Not really... I finally had Alex's medical bills and funeral paid off. I couldn't stay there anymore. All I could see was him and what could have been. I thought it would be best for us Manda." Amanda nodded. She climbed onto the bed and hugged her father tightly. Ash leaned into her and wrapped his arms around her. He felt Damien rub his back. 

"What's going to happen now?" The red-haired man asked. The other two pulled away.

 

"I want you to stay with Damien while you recover. I'm sorry dad, but I'm not comfortable leaving you on your own. We'll figure out what to do with the house. I'm staying for the rest of the week then I'll go back to school. After that, we'll figure it out. We'll work through this." Amanda said.

"I do agree with Amanda. I can either stay with you in your house, or you can stay with Lucien and myself. If Dr. Pierce wants you in a chair, I can stay with you. You have people who love you very much. Mat and Craig were asking about you. You know they would help you in your time of need. The entire neighborhood would. We'll figure out it together. Don't worry about a thing, just focus on getting well." Damien answered. Ash looked back and forth between the two. He thought about it for a minute. 

When he looked at the two, he could see how they were handling everything. Amanda looked slightly pale and he could see the bags under her eyes. She looked like she hadn't been sleeping well. She didn't look like she was taking everything well. Damien looked normal, but it was hard to tell if the goth was wearing makeup or not. The dark-haired man would go back and forth from resting a hand on Ash's back and holding his own hands, wringing them together anxiously. Ash began to feel even more guilty. He looked down at the bed.

 

"I'm sorry. I never meant to put you guys through this." 

"It's alright dear. Know we're here now and you'll get the help you need." Damien said. 

 

The three relaxed and spent time together. When Ash got tired, they soothed him to sleep. Now that he had woken up, the healing could really begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think I'm finally getting the hang of tenses. Hopefully, they're all consistent past tense, but if not, its okay with me. For the record, to be clear, I know nothing about medical anything. I did a lot of looking up but of course the internet doesn't give clear answers for everything.
> 
> Anyways, do Dadsona's gonna be fine. :)
> 
> Leave a Kudo and a comment. I love hearing what you guys have to say.


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I lied. It isn't three Chapters. But I couldn't just let it end like that. I needed an epilogue. I needed a proper closure. So here's the last part of Whiter Than Death.

It was almost two months before Ash was allowed to leave the hospital. He was bound to a wheelchair, as he was still weak. Amanda had gone back to school after a week like she said she would. She made sure to call once a day, every single day. She would speak to both her father and Damien, planning the future for when Ash got out. When she got the news of his release day, she made sure to come home. It was decided that Ash would go back to his house and Damien would help care for him. The neighborhood was told about what happened and everyone was playing some part in helping. Craig would help with any physiotherapy once Ash was stronger. Brian and Joseph would do any yard work that needed to be done. Mat was helping raise money to help pay bills with donations at the Coffee Spoon. Hugo would make grocery runs with Damien. Robert would keep Ash company when the red-haired man was awake. It surprised Ash to see how much his neighbors were willing to help him in his time of need.

 

Lucien showed up at the house roughly ten days after Ash got discharged. Damien had gone to work for a couple hours, leaving Ash alone. The red-haired man was in the house when he noticed the young man. He got himself into his chair and went to the door. Just as he opened it, Lucien started to walk away. Ash called out to the young man.

"Lucien," he called out. The teen looked over at Ash, not saying anything. Ash motioned inside. "Wanna come in?" Lucien looked at him for a minuted before he shrugged. Turning around, the silver-haired teen went inside the house after Ash.

"You want anything to drink?" Ash asked as he made his way to the kitchen. Lucien sat down on the couch, lightly placing his bag on the floor beside him.

"You got JD?" he asked. Ash snorted.

"I'm pretty sure Robert took the last of it. I got coke though." Lucien smirked a little.

"I suppose I'll make do with some."

"One coke coming up." Ash came back after a couple minutes with their drinks. He handed the teen his coke then set his water bottle on the table. He maneuvered himself out of the chair and onto the couch beside Lucien. The two were quiet for a minute before Ash spoke up.

 

"Your dad told me you were the one who found me that day. Told me how you called him, thinking I was dead. I'm sorry you had to find me like that. I know I caused you some harm in a way and for that I am sorry. What I really want to say though, Lucien is thank you. If you didn't come when you did, I most likely would have died. I'm sure Damien told you. I wasn't taking care of myself at all. I worked myself to the point of near death. Its no excuse, but that's all I have. I spent so long looking after myself and Amanda on my own, I had forgotten what it meant to have someone to rely on." Ash looked at Lucien. Lucien was slouched in on himself a little, holding his can of pop in his hands. His expression was emotionless. They were silent for a long time, it was almost unbearable. Eventually, though, Lucien spoke.

 

"You seemed happy." Ash tilted his head in confusion. Lucien got up and grabbed the wedding photo from the shelf. He sat back down. "What changed?" Ash leaned over and gently took the photo. He smiled gently, looking at the face of his late husband.

"I've never told your father this, I don't know if Amanda has. But, I was in love with someone else almost twenty years ago. He was the love my life, my other half, my soul mate. We had only been dating for barely two years when Alex asked me to marry him. I said yes. We were happy. Then we had Amanda and we were complete. Alex was the man whom I would spend my life with, we would grow old together. What changed?" The smile went away and his expression changed. He looked sad. "Til death do you part."

"He died?" Lucien asked. He leaned in a little bit, towards Ash.

"Amanda was four when he passed. Alex was born with a genetic heart problem, cardiomyopathy. It was under control medically, until one day it wasn't. One day, out of the blue, Alex had a heart attack. At the hospital, we found out the cardiomyopathy had severely weakened his heart, to the point of heart failure. The best course was a transplant. He was put on the list and given so many medications to help him get through until a match was found. Sadly, Alex passed away before a match could be found. I had taken Amanda to the movies, Alex stayed home. She went to spend the night with her grandparents afterward. I came home and found my husband dead. Heart attack."

 

"Sorry... Do you love dad?" Lucien asked again. Ash leaned forward, setting the photo on the table.

"When Alex died, I thought I would never love someone as much as I loved him. I put my love life aside, I had my daughter to care for and raise. Then I met Damien. I was so confused. I didn't know what I wanted and didn't want to hurt him. What helped was Amanda telling me Alex wouldn't want me to put my life on hold because of his passing. He would want me to move on and find love again. 

 

"To answer your question, do I love Damien? Very much. I haven't felt like this since Alex. Before you ask Lucien, I'm not using your father to replace Alex. I loved Alex, there will always be a place in my heart for him and I will never stop loving him. But that chapter of my life is over. I finally was able to move on and open my heart again. I love Damien so much, and I know he'll never replace Alex. What Damien and I have is different than me and Alex. I want to be by your dad's side, as his lover, for as long as he'll have me." Lucien remained silent. He rested his head on Ash's shoulder.

"Hurt my dad, and I'll kick your ass." Ash ran his fingers through Lucien's silver locks.

"If I hurt him purposely, I will willingly accept any punishment you and Mary come up with." Grabbing the tv remote with his other hand, Ash changed the channel to his favorite zombie show. The two settled down to watch a few episodes, not knowing what time it was when they fell asleep together.

 

This was the sight that Damien arrived to. His son and his lover fast asleep on the couch asleep, his son wrapped up in his lover's arms. Pulling out his cell, he took a couple pictures and sent them to Amanda. They had all worked hard to get to where they were. While Ash was still recovering, Damien knew. It would be smooth sailing. With the continual help and support from their neighbors, things would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it. That's the end. Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it. Leave a Kudo, Comment, Bookmark, anything. Let me know what you all think of this.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that isn't so bad. Some constructive criticism would be nice. Sorry for the shitty tenses. I struggle with getting the tenses right and constantly use past tense it's stupid.


End file.
